Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Hobgoblins of gloom
There's quite the number of posts sitting in my drafts folder, waiting to be finished. I should rephrase that: they are waiting to be re-written, when the topics are not clouded by the shroud of my being in a deeply bad mood. Maybe I'm wrong to censor myself. I haven't decided yet.
When I got linked from Psych Central, I read on someone's blog (and I'm sorry but I don't remember whose), that most blogs written by those who write about depression ultimately fail. Two reasons stand out: 1.) The blogger is too depressed to write. 2.) The readers are tired of hearing the repetition of the same old same old day in and day out (how'd you like those cliches?) And to add insult to this depressed person's injury, this blog's rating only gets a five (out of ten). Well, what did I expect? I'm not giving out lovely pearls of wisdom or little gems of happy-talk here!
But I am trying to censor myself (even though this post is entirely about me me and all me). I don't want to just report on the state of my mood swings. That's what emoticons are for.
So here: :-(
That about sums it up. I'm in a foul mood. It's one of those days where I wish I were the kind of person who finds having a drink to be soothing (but then again, if that worked, I'd probably wind up an alcoholic).
I haven't been able to study. Every encounter with others seems to go all wrong. I can't figure out how to use Word '07 properly(well, that's normal, isn't it?)
Yesterday I was told to leave off the last fifteen years of my life on my new resume. That didn't feel very good. "Let them assume you were busy having kids", said the job counselor. You'd think that my owning a tattoo business was as bad as running a brothel.
Maybe that's what I should do next - become a Madame. I love talking to people and I love corsets, so how 'bout a historically accurate 18th century brothel?
It'd be a lot more interesting than working in some office, that's for sure, but there are some ethical considerations I might have some trouble with.
Meanwhile, I am trying to stay interested in anything (and everything). That's what I believe keeps one afloat whilst depressed, and that's why this blog is called what it is. A good book, a crafts project or any number of things can spirit one away from the hobgoblins of gloom. Yeah, I know it's hard to actually get oneself to do anything when one is very depressed, but you must try. Though, I will say this, sometimes one just has to take a nap.
Note: The words "hobgoblins of gloom" reminded me of Spiro Agnew's (Nixon's VP) use of the words "the nattering nabobs of negativism", which I bristled at finding an amusing term, but felt better when learning that Wiliam Safire had written.
Though less known, this turn of phrase was following by calling the press corps "hysterical hypochronidriacs of history." These barbed phrases did nothing to save Agnew's career, but keep him alive today, as the battle against the "liberal media" marches on. . .(okay, I said I wouldn't write about politics). . .
Image Note: Francisco de Goya Duendecitos (Hobgoblins)Etching 1890