Wednesday, May 21, 2008

In which I pick up the gauntlet

Two posts back, I asked my readers (all half dozen of you, I presume) to pick a topic for me to write about. Being me, I proceeded to post something that didn't address any of the suggested topics and instead wrote about the color purple once again.

But now I return to accept the challenge of somehow writing about Obama, Bvlgari Black, L'artisan's Dzing! and birdwatching all in the same post. Can I do it? I think so, but I can't promise that any of these topics will coalesce into one theme. Oh, I suppose I could make that happen, but not without a comedic stretch that I'm just not capable of tonight (or tomorrow either, I'm sure).

I do wonder if any of the candidates wear fragrance. I am sure that McCain's wife does. I must admit that I think she looks fantastic. She reminds me a bit of the character "Seven of Nine" from Star Trek Voyager. Seven of Nine, played by Jeri Ryan, was a Borg separated from the collective. She was drop-dead gorgeous and as cold as steel.

There is a bizarre connection between Jeri Ryan and Barack Obama. Jack Ryan was a Republican State Senator in Illinois. When Barack Obama ran against him in 2004, Ryan pulled out of the race due to the rumors (that turned out to be true) that one of the reasons for his divorce from his wife Jeri is that he asked her to go to sex clubs with him.

How did I find this out? Well, one can google it easily, but why would one, at random? I did, because I was making a joke about Obama sometimes reminding me of the character Tuvok from the same Star Trek series.

Sheesh, talk about six degrees of separation. In this case, it even weaves in and out of fantasy-land.*

So, how do I segue into talking about Bvlgari Black? That's simple. Jeri Ryan is a fetish object. Oh, yes, she's a real living woman, but take a look at her (especially as Seven of Nine). Bvlgari Black? It's an in-joke for rubber fetishists, smelling as it does of rubber and baby powder.

I find the scent of Black to be utterly intoxicating. Its "rubbery" smell is not overpowering in the least and fades somewhat quickly, leaving one to smell rather like a freshly changed, bathed and powdered baby. With all the giggling behind the in-joke of this fragrance being the stuff of fetishists, it's rather ironic that its ultimate feeling is one of such innocence.

Not so with Dzing! which is "supposed" to smell fun in some way. It is decidedly not fun, though its analysis may be. I have worn it a number of times now and still can't decide how I feel about it. I wouldn't want to wear it out of my house, that's for sure. But it is most interesting, to say the least.

There's something truly repulsive about it, but both myself and others have noted that one doesn't want to wash it off even while one is wrinkling their nose in disgust. It's so elusive - what are those smells? Turin says it's lignin, which should smell like paper, but I've never smelled paper like this.

No, my first reaction, my partner's first reaction and a friend's first reaction were all "Rubber? Plastic?" Dick said "burnt break pads", I think. Lisa said "hot asphalt" and I agreed whole-heartedly.

So, in the war for the rubber scents, I pick Black, hands down.

Now, as for the birds, they may get fairly short shrift. I can tell you this: birding while wearing perfume is not a good idea. I tried it yesterday (unintentionally) and got eaten alive by black flies and mosquitoes, even while wearing Ben's bug dope.

I do wonder if wearing fragrance might mask my human scent enough to aid in being closer to birds, but somehow I think their sense of smell may be better than that. Otherwise, how could the Orioles suddenly show up when I put out the first oranges of the spring?

If you know the answer to this one, please leave me a message.

Okay, I'm tired and I've done it. Wrote about Obama, Bvlgari Black, L'artisan's Dzing! and birdwatching all in one post. Successfully? Nah. But it's time for the sandman to take me away. . .

*This is not fantasy-land for many. There are some who speculate Obama is an alien being. No kidding. I won't do the work for you: google it yourself and find out!

Photo note: That's Seven of Nine when she was rescued from the Borg collective and afterwards, when the Doctor had removed as much of her implants as possible (yes, I'm a bit of a Trekkie). The second picture is of Cindy McCain, presumably fully human but obviously hiding something beneath those shades. Does she have an implant above on eyebrow?

Do I get extra points for including another subject (the Ryan thing) or do I lose points for being so all over the map?


Websafe said...

Jeri Ryan is a cool actor. I never saw her as Seven of Nine, but enjoyed following her work on the current CBS TV show Shark. She's still just about perfect looking, and had a great understated, elegant wardrobe for that show. Also, the character she played was sharp and tough without being a jerk about it. A much cooler character than the main character (played by James Woods).

Abigail said...

I don't care so much about the old/classic trek with Shatner but I LOVE Star Trek TNG. Patrick Stewart and gang were the best. I also loved DS9 and I did watch the trek with Capt. Janeway for at least the first season. I love Star Trek. I think it's a positive vision of the future (one of the few really, most sci-fi's are horrible visions of the future). And Seven of Nine is one hot smokin' mama!
And I also like (don't love) Bvlgari Black. The bottle reminds me of a hockey puck. The juice itself is nice but I expected something darker.
Oh, and I've been saying Obama = Tuvok for ages. I swear you stole it from me! ;-)