Friday, April 3, 2009

The big red bounce

Every once in a while, I check Google analytics, to see how many people visit this blog. I know there's about ten people who visit regularly, and there's three or four of you who comment (thank you). But right now, I'm thinking about all the people who visit so briefly that they create what is called a "100% bounce rate." You've probably done that 100% bounce yourself, and didn't know it. It's when you land on a page you don't want to be on, or instantly dislike, and immediately navigate away. Click. Click. Bounce away!

I don't have a 100% bounce rate for the site. Of course not. Some people stay and read. Again, thank you. But for the people who wind up on this site because they have googled "why you shouldn't get a tattoo" and land here, they all leave right away. All of them.

They don't land on arbitrary pages. They land on posts about tattoos. But, they must see something they don't like. I am not exaggerating when I say that all of them leave right away. It's been consistent for as long as I've had analytics, and I find it fascinating.

I suspect it's not that they see something they don't like. It's that they don't see what they like. There is a difference.

Have you ever looked at a typical tattoo website? First of all, there's got to be skulls. Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against skulls. I have a big skull tattooed on the back of my right leg. I actually had forgotten about that when I had a test at the hospital today. The person who was putting the electrodes on my legs had a jolly good time and a bit of a scare when I flipped on to my belly. The Tibetan skull on the back of my leg is a bit frightening, at least to most people.

I didn't mean to start writing about my hospital tests or my own tattoos. But, if there was a big, scary skull on this page, maybe one of those people googling the word "tattoo" would stay for more than a split second. I wonder if there are any pictures of skulls on any of the hundreds of posts I have. I think not.

The typical tattoo site has banner ads galore, stuff that moves, and bling! Yeah, lots of red, too.

Text? Fuggetuhboutit.

And maybe some music, too.

*WARNING: The following song offended or creeped out every single person who ever listened to it in my former tattoo shop. If you listen to it, please tell me why.*

F*** Frankie - Marilyn Manson

Photo note: Marilyn Manson, with tattoos, of course. I don't know what is wrong with me. I find Marilyn Manson very attractive.


BitterGrace said...

Oddly enough, a fair number of people land on my blog via Google searches on word usage--e.g., "how to use [insert word here] in a sentence." Due to the One Sentence Perfume Reviews, I suppose the word "sentence" appears on the blog often enough to trigger Google's page rankings. Word usage seems a very curious thing to try to Google, but it happens several times a week. Those people never linger, since my blog is not much of a vocabulary teaching tool.

I'm not sure you're serious about the Manson song question, but here's my answer:

Yeah, I see that the song is basically supposed to be funny/ironic, but the sound of other people having sex is always discomfiting, especially if you're listening to it in the presence of someone you don't really know--like say, in a place of business. Also, depending on the frame of reference you bring to it, you could hear that encounter as a rape. Personally, I wouldn't be too keen on listening to it while I was being subjected to the pain of being tattooed.

I can understand the attraction to Manson. He doesn't appeal to me physically, but I think he's fascinating and very smart.

Julie H. Rose said...

It was a real question.

Your observation about it is right on the money. I have never paid attention to the lyrics, so I can't comment, but the murmurings in the background are discomforting.

Here's where I my sadistic streak must have emerged. People asked me to play so much offensive music, so I sometimes played this, and got a little kick out of watching them be uncomfortable for a change. Some Buddhist I was!