Sunday afternoon meme

Preface: Find the typos. I'm sleepy.

I got this meme from Return to Rural who got it from Pop Culture Librarian., Then I saw somewhere that it's been on MySpace for years. Whatever. It looked like more fun than the average meme. It's not a list of questions like "What did you eat for dinner last night?" Once in a while, kicking back and answering a bunch of silly questions is very relaxing.
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I must preface my answers to all questions involving violence to others with the following: I would not intentionally do anyone any harm. Seriously, I'm not even sure indulging in murderous thoughts is a good idea, but a little bit of silliness around this subject isn't too harmful.

So, who would I blow up? George W. Bush. It bothers me no end that he was president of this country for eight years, got us into a war under false pretenses, tripled (or is quadrupled?) the national debt, ignored the Geneva conventions, and hasn't seen a lick of consequences for any of this. I just might, in this case, press that button. But, I'm afraid death by sudden explosion might not be a good punishment for Mr. Bush. I would really like to see him tried for war crimes.

And you expected a fun answer. Oh well.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Who will it be? Billy Joel. I don't know why, but I really, really, don't like him. I don't like his music, but that doesn't explain the intense visceral dislike I have for him. I hadn't liked him previous to this, but he was highly vocal about how horrible the punk rock scene was in New York, and said something stupid about how "real" New Yorkers wouldn't be caught dead in a place like CBGB's. I now question my memory of his comments, but I still adhor him. I used to see him around when I lived near his home on Long Island. I hated seeing his face. You see, we're talking about pathological dislike. Shame on me.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Well, I've already made George W. Bush explode, so I'll go with Cheney. That friend of his whom he shot while bird hunting should get first crack at this, but evidentally he didn't feel the need. I'd prefer it if someone from the court at the Hague punched him in the face, but I'll do it in a pinch.

4. What is your favorite cheese? Jarlsberg. Why is it so expensive? It's fairly ordinary. I also love brie, extra sharp Vermont cheddar, havarti (especially with dill), and the little squares of La Vache qui Rit (the laughing cow), which I always forget still exists. Living here in Maine, I miss the cheese shops of New York City. When I was a kid, it was always a treat to go the cheese shop and sample some new cheese.

And I do love creamed cheese, which I think most folks forget is, in fact, a cheese.

Wait. I also forgot that I love good mozzarella, especially the little balls that are soaked in olive oil and herbs. And freshly grated parmesan. And Ricotta Fresca. . .oh, I do love cheese. I probably eat too much of it.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind of sandwich will you eat? Does this question imply that this is the only sandwich I will ever get to eat for the rest of my life? Well, in that case, the answer would be, given the second sentence, a sandwich with every ingredient known to humankind in it, on a really good whole wheat sourdough roll (which is hard to find.) Then I could pick out what I don't want every time I eat it. Hold the onions, pickles, relish and ketchup. I don't like those on sandwiches. And hold the liverwurst, too.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? This is a little creepy, isn't it? What are we, 16? Moving on...

I don't want to sleep with a celebrity. I'd just be uncomfortable thinking about how he is way more good looking than I am. And I wouldn't pick anyone who I didn't think this of, for what would be the point? What's the point, anyway? Is there a celebrity known for being really good in bed? If so, maybe I'd pick that one. And please don't tell me it's Tommy Lee. Well, I could sleep with him, I suppose. Why didn't I just move on already?! Um, maybe k.d.lang would be a good choice. Julie, stop this right now!

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice, who will it be?
Didn't I already answer this?

8. Now that you've slept with two people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. What do you buy?
The sad part is that one hundred bucks would not cover the price of what I'd want to buy if I suddenly found some money to blow. All the perfumes I currently am wanting are more than that. Isn't that ridiculous?

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Paris. I am afraid I'll die without ever having been to Paris. Really. I've wanted to go there since I was ten years old, but I've never made saving money to go on trips a priority, and I've never made much money.

10. An angel appears out of heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the beverage of your choice.
There's a organic Earl Grey Tea angel?

11. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anywhere in the PAST.
This is a difficult question. Would I like to go back in time to rectify something in my life? Sometimes I'd like to, so I could go to medical school. Then again, if I did that, I would not have had the life experiences that have made me who I am today. So, nix that, even if I do wish for it on occasion. I wouldn't mind traveling back to the 18th century. I wouldn't stay long, for I'd probably get sick and drop dead. I would bring back some good linen cloth, which was once so ordinary, and is now terribly overpriced.

12. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
I'd make a rule that rules are made by consensus (except for the first one, of course). This means that everyone has to agree to them. It isn't as hard as it seems. In consensus, if someone doesn't agree with something, and it doesn't mean that much to them, they just keep their mouth shut. Sometimes, a little arm-twisting is necessary with this type of decision making, but it's a good one.

13. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it?
I would like to host a TV talk show. I would interview "regular" people who do interesting things, and I don't mean weird stuff. If someone makes their own shoelaces (something I'd like to do right now), I'd interview them. I'd interview perfume makers. It would sort of be like this blog, about everything, and with very little about anyone famous.

14. What is your favorite curse word?
I have stopped cursing, for the most part, since I stopped tattooing. I used to swear like a sailor, though I'm not sure that cliche holds up any more. My most used curse word was "fucking", as in "He's a fucking nutcase." Was it my favorite? I don't have a favorite, though it was very funny when Dick's sister-in-law from Norway discovered the word "douchebag" and was using it a lot.

15. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, what do you do?
The mummies are just hanging around? Why would they do that? Are they waiting for me to get up and make them breakfast or something? Look, I don't believe in mummies, or at least I don't believe in people who are wrapped up in bandages after they've died coming to life, so I don't care if they are doing something or not. If I woke up and there were mummies in my bedroom, the first thing I would do, being serious here, is call an ambulance that would take me to the nearest emergency room for an assessment.

16. Your house is on fire! What do you do? I'd try to get to my phone so I could call 911. Then, I'd try to find Miko and get out of the house. What about Dick? Hopefully he'd be taking care of himself. I bet he'd beat me to the phone, or have started putting out the fire. He's so handy.

17. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
If I just had a half an hour to live, I think I'd just sit and talk with the Angel of Death. After all, I don't believe in the guy (or gal), and if I turn out to be wrong, I'd be really interested in what he had to say. I'd also have a cannoli and a cup of espresso, both of which I can't eat right now. If I was about to die, a little stomach ache wouldn't bother me. Maybe I'd have a big piece of lasagna and a glass of Chateau Petrus wine, which is supposed to be the best in the world right now. It's $1500 a bottle. Don't worry. I'll put it on my tab.

18. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! Is eternal life a super power? If so, I'll take that one.

19. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? That's not much time to do anything too serious... The answer to this question is not fit for publication.

20. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Nothing. Another case of believing that all past experiences have made me who I am today, and I wouldn't want to change that.

21. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check this out... you can move anywhere. I said I'd like to visit Paris, but if I had to live somewhere else outside of the United States, I think I'd choose the United Kingdom. That way I wouldn't have to struggle to learn another language, but I could easily travel to different countries. I would like to live in Japan, but I have no idea if I would want to stay there, so that's not the answer. Why am I taking this so seriously?

22. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age, if you were banned from every bar in the world except one, which one would it be? I don't drink, so it really doesn't matter much to me. I do like two bars in Belfast, just for their atmosphere. One is an old bar and the other a new one. They are so different. Okay, I'm pick Rollie's, the old bar. It's quite homey and they don't serve the really good beer I like, so I wouldn't feel bad not drinking it.

23. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question... If you did, then we'll just expound on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to fly! Whose house are you going to fly to first, and be like "Check it out I can FLY!?" I'd probably go to Lisa's house first, because I tell her everything.

24. The constant absorption of magical moon beams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? Why are people so obsessed with celebrities? I don't get it and I never will. I would like to resurrect my mother. Okay? I have super powers, so don't mess with me!

Photo note: This is a still from the 1960 movie "The Time Machine." The movie is in color, so I don't know why this is black and white. It looks much older than 1960, but I did some verifying, and it is indeed correct. It is based on the H.G. Wells book of the same
name.

The only reason why this entire post is in bold is that I made a mistake and it was easier to make everything bold than to pick out the wrong html code. As I've said, I am sleepy.