Embracing mediocrity, again

I have written extensively on this subject. Just read any post about NaNoWriMo (see tags - I'm too lazy to supply you with a link right here).

I found a website that I can realy get behind and now have a link to it on the sidebar. It's allmediocre.com. See, I'm so lazy right now that I'm going to force you to amble over to the sidebar if you want to see the site. Big hint: the button is green (and I wish it was a different color). Now, the folks at allmediocre didn't even make that a clickable icon, but I did. Is that because they're mediocre? You'd have to ask them. I'm surprised I remembered how to turn a graphic into a link, 'cause I thought everything I knew about html was lost, along with any knowledge I've had of any other languages I've studied.

The sidebar has gained a mediocre link and lost the Amazon begging-for-donations link. Amazon has ended that program, which is just as well. I received exactly $2.61 in donations. I don't blame anyone. What with the zillions of blogs out there, why would you donate to mine? Don't blame me for trying, though. And I thank whoever that one person was for their donation.

It seems fitting that the begging bowl is gone and the admission to mediocrity is up. Sure, like every other blogger, I want to be special, but it's like I used to say about people getting tattoos, "I want to be special, just like everyone else." Well, I do think we're all special, actually.

It's just that I enjoy blogging so much that I really want to justify it with some income. I can justify it by saying (and this would be true) that it's enriched my life. I adore the people I've met through this blog. Truly. I don't know why, but the folks who've left comments here all seem to be people I truly like (yes, I said adore, didn't I?)

That in itself should be enough, and it is, for the most part. Of course, since I'm unemployed, I need some income. But, looking for it in this arena is a pipe dream that an awful lot of other folks have. I might as well just play the lottery every day.

I'm not going to become the next "Things That White People Like" blog turned into best seller. No way. I have no gimmick and no hook. That's a problem. I can't even figure out what to tag my posts. What kind of tag is "something about us", anyway?

I like that tag, but it means nothing in the blogosphere. I just can't help being who I am. I really don't think I'm all that mediocre, but I sure don't fit into a neat little box that can be sold easily. And I did get a 7.3 on blogged.com (those jerks!) That's mediocrity!

This post is fairly pointless, isn't it? I have some things I'd like to write about, but I'm tired at the moment. I just wanted to bring your attention to the sidebar changes. And of course, Julie has a hard time getting to her point, every time.

Should we worry that I just spoke of myself in the third person? I'm not turning into George Bush, don't worry. I was just trying it out. I don't like it and don't plan on doing it again. Promise.

Painting note: Julian Schnabel, Untitled (Los Patos del Buen Retiro), 1991, oil, gesso on velvet, 457 x 457 cm
What does Julian Schnabel have to do with this post? Let's see: First, he's got one of the biggest egos of any human being I've ever heard speak. Noone can say a negative thing about Schnabel (see this past week's 60 Minutes). I admire his films quite a bit. He's an excellent director. His paintings? My opinion is so colored by that ego of his, that I can't say I have an honest assessment. The prices his work command is another issue (3 million dollars for an eh painting?) Whatever he does is golden. I doubt he's ever thought anything he's done in his life is mediocre. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's an insecure little boy inside that body somewhere. I certainly have to examine why he irks me so much, that's for sure.

I suppose it's pretty obvious. Last night, I was scratching my lottery tickets while thinking "I hope I win enough to buy a new mattress" over and over again. A new mattress?! Wow, I have big dreams, don't I? But I need a new mattress quite badly and I can't afford it. Meanwhile, Schnabel can sell a scribble on a napkin for the price of the mattress I can't afford. Not to mention all the starving children that need to be fed (big leap of thought here, I know). . .

Is embracing mediocrity a good idea? Yes and no. Yes, in the sense that it seems to free me up to be more creative. But then, I have to believe in what I've done and not call it mediocre, right? I have to practice all this. It's new stuff.

Addendum: I just realized I don't even know if allmediocre has even accepted me for their "mediocre blogroll." Geez, what if they don't? I will surely be embarrassed!

Quantity over quality

If you made it through the last post, I congratulate you on your perserverance.

In the somewhat clear light of day, I thought of deleting it, but it's staying. I do sometimes go on late night quiz taking sprees, though not often (thankfully). Only this time, I tell the tale.

When I started this blog, I didn't want it to be a diary of my daily life. I did want to write about my life, but only if it related in some way to the topic at hand, or illustrated some point. Fragrance reviews spawned memories. Politics triggered forgotten ideals. Having trouble zipping up my jeans got me thinking about the beauty standard.

You get the picture.

The blogging bug hit me hard. I started reading other personal blogs, which I admit, I hadn't done much, as I mostly read big popular political ones like Andrew Sullivan's (which I spent an inordinate amount of time doing during the election season).

His readership is so large that he doesn't allow comments. Sure, I'd e-mail him once in a while, but why I bothered is beyond me. We weren't having a conversation. He's a superstar in the blogosphere.

Now, I'm enjoying blogging even more, though perhaps my original intent has been blunted. See, what I'm writing right now is off my original base. This post is about blogging, and my thoughts about it. Why should I bother? Why should you bother reading it, for that matter?

I go back and forth about this. I like that I'm normalizing my blog, on the one hand, for occasionally filling out some set of meme questions or taking silly tests and posting their results is just plain ol' fun. On the other hand, I wonder, why aren't I writing about something important?

Well, I'm just not up to it every day. I'd prefer to post often, instead of waiting until I have a good idea. I love blogs that update frequently, but that's me. I suppose that's why I could do NaNoWriMo: "It's all about quantity, not quality!"

If you had told me that I'd come to see the value of that statement in this lifetime, I'd have said it's not possible. I once was a perfectionist, and as I've gotten older, I've let that fall away. Chris Baty says "The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations. . ." High expectations have always been the bane of my existence.

Now, I'm a firm adherent of process over product. If this sounds contradictory to the idea of quantity over quality, it's not. By freeing myself completely from attachment to an outcome, I'm learning, having fun and doing things I would have never thought possible. That's process. The freedom produces quantity.

Painting note: Pablo Picasso "The Dream" 1932
Picasso was the world's second most prolific painter.Morris Katz holds the Guinness World record for #1. But, I couldn't bring myself to post one of his paintings.

Sidebar changes

I woke up at 3:00am and couldn't fall back asleep, so I did some blog housekeeping. I've eliminated my self-effacing "About me" dilletante description. I miss it, but all things must change. Self-effacing comments are a habit that I've been trying to rid myself of for years.

I noticed that I had a ridiculous amount of tags. I've consolidated. These new tags aren't that descriptive, so use the search box. It's quite effective.

My links are now divided into blogs and not-blogs. Keep your eye on these, if it interests you. I will be adding much, I expect, in the days to come.

And thanks for dropping by.

Painting note: If anyone knows who painted this, please leave a comment. I used this image for a post I deleted quite a while back and the file has no attribution. Why is it at the top of this post? I've been wanting to use it, 'cause I just like it, and this is the blog housekeeping post. Geez, do I have to have a reason for everything?

Not really paying it forward

TMC gave me this badge, above, and now I'm supposed to send it to seven other blogs, ask them to post it, and then award it to seven others, and then. . .well, it's another paying-it-forward game.

I am sorry, but I can't play! Most of the blogs I read daily will not participate, either because they are just too huge to do so, and certainly don't need any more readers, nor would they care if I sent them this (or they'd find it quite funny, I'm sure). Others would not partcipate because they are not that active. And some wouldn't because I just know they don't do that sort of thing. And lastly, one of daily reads that contains blogs I peruse is not public. That's Ravelry, "a knit and crochet community."

The rest are on my links list, except for Now Smell This, a blog that is completely devoted to scent, all scent, and all the time (unlike mine).

Addendum: Another one of my daily blog reads is Ta-Nehisi Coates, at the Atlantic Monthly site. I love this blog. Lots of politics, but also hip hop, poetry and team sports (which I skip over). I'm glad to read someone smart who loves rap.

Saffron and red robes (I heart your blog)

I just deleted a post. I was writing in a style that is not my own. It's because of TMC. Her playful spirit is infectious. Her blog, Return to Rural, brings a smile to my face.

She's funny in a wry and often self-deprecating way. She lavishes praise on others without being soppy. She posts contests, games, and all sorts of pay-it-forward activities. She brings folks together. Do you realize this, TMC?

I was writing (and deleted) some stuff about how "I HEART her blog". I have no idea how to put a heart symbol where the word "heart" is. TMC does.

I was trying to be nice but a little bit snarky. Trying to be is not being.

Then I thought about how we're both Buddhists. She wrote that she wanted to be a Buddhist nun, and if she was, she'd be wearing saffron and red robes.

I once thought that I might be better suited to living the life of a monk, but if I were to become one, what color robes would I be wearing? Black, gray and white.

Buddhism hooks people in different ways and sometimes, I think, it's externals that get you at first. Now, I have no idea how TMC got to be a Tibetan Buddhist, but I know this about myself: I love the austerity of Zen. I love the stories of these crazy stoics, like Huike, who stood outside the Bodhidharma's cave until the falling snow had reached his waist. This was still not enough to prove to the Bodhidharma that he deserved his teachings, so Huike cut off his left arm to show his sincerity.

The ardent students of old would tie themselves up so that they would not fall over when they were in meditation if sleepiness came upon them. Zen tales are overflowing with masters hitting their disciples with sticks. Kwat! You fool!

But, when the Dalai Lama laughs, we all laugh. We cut off our arms with Huike, too.

Thanks, TMC. I do heart your blog.

Image note: From BananaFrog, who make beautiful, fun and playful paper goodies.

Addendum: And I forgot, she is the one who roped me into writing a novel in a month. Мне виноваты вы! Je vous reprocher! 我譴責你！ Yo culpo a ti! मैं तुम्हें दोष! Ich Schuld Sie! 私はあなたのせい！ But: Vi ringrazio per ispirazione a fare qualcosa che non ho mai pensato ho potuto fare, anche se probabilmente è un mucchio di vapore caldo cane merda su un pomeriggio di agosto. Vedi, io maledizione!

Mediocrity

When I was tattooing, I had accept a certain level of mediocrity. Some days I wasn't all that enthusiastic about what I was doing. Tattooing yet another rose with a banner with a banner wrapped around it is not all that creative. Just how good a job can one do when the customer wants exactly what they see in the book? I just did the job.

And some days I was mediocre for no particular reason.

And yeah, there were times when I did a great job, deserved an A+ and a tip. But that wasn't an average day. I was average tattooist, maybe a little better, but not really. I learned to live with that fact, and thought it was a good lesson, for I'd once been such a perfectionist that it kept me from doing many things. After all, in my family, if I came home with a report card with 7 A's and one B, my parents would ask "What went wrong?"

So, my blog was rated by blogged.com. I got a 7.3 for "very good". They're just being nice. 7.3 is not "very good". It a bit below average. 7.5 is a solid C, and though I've conquered my perfectionism, getting a C is not good enough for me.

I looked at some blogs that got ratings of 7.3 all the way up until 8.3 and then said to myself, "You don't need this." I don't. I love blogging, and maybe I'm not word class (hell, I wouldn't give myself anything over an 8) but, really, a C minus?

Sure, my posts are long and I don't have a specialist's topic. I think that's something good, but that's me (and that's why this is my blog).

If you enjoy this blog, please help me get that number up. Click here. Maybe one reason I got a mediocre rating is that I've been categorized as a "religion and spirituality" blog. Huh?

Well, there isn't a section called "Dilletantes", so they had to pick something.

Image note: For a small collection of old report cards, click here.

Bribing you to comment

Not really.

On TMC's blog, she started a wonderful thing. Now, "thing" isn't the right word for it, but I am at a loss for words (gasp!)

Here's the deal: She will be sending the first three people who comment on her post a gift. Then, these people will do the same thing.

I was the second person to leave a comment and I thought I should wait until a third person joined in, but thought, "Why?" I love this idea, so I'll start now, and besides, I've been trying to get you folks to comment more! Yeah, it's a bribe (oh, I said not really, didn't I?)

So, if you are one of the first three people to comment, you must send me an e-mail so I know where to send your gift. Then, you have to make the same offer on your blog. If you don't have a blog, you can still do this. Send out a bulk e-mail that includes people you barely know asking them to send you a reply. Or you can stick a note in people's inboxes at work or put up a sign at your gym. There's lots of creative ways you can interact with people you don't know, even without a blog. You figure it out!

Sadly, the blogs I go to the most are not ones that will play this nice game. And that tells me something I should pay attention to. It'll be a good thing when I stop compulsively trolling poll sites, the NRO, and all the rest of the punditry world. Goodbye to all that (but not until the midnight or so on November 5th)!

Anyway, if you forgot what I was writing about (since I got off topic), if you want to join in the gift giving, pre-Holiday season and all, leave a comment. I know there's a lot of silent readers out there! I even know who some of you are!

As to the gifts - no money is needed. Handmade things are great. Re-gifting is good, too (though sending things you hate to others may not be good karma). This is truly one of those things where it is the thought that counts.

When I've traded perfume samples, most people (including me) included "extras" in our swaps. Some people wrapped the samples up in beautiful packages. It was always a treat. My trip to the mail box became something I looked forward to like a little kid. What surprise package was going to be there?

That kind of little joy does so much good for one's life. So, leave a comment. Get some joy.

Image note: Portugese packaging. Who cares what's inside? It's so nice looking! It seems to have something to do with this site, A Vida Portuguesa, which has absolutely lovely graphics, but I'm not sure of anything about it (since I can't read Portugese). Yeah, I know there's Google translate, but I'm feeling lazy.

To blog or not to blog

Fact one: I should be studying, not blogging.

Fact two: There are estimated to be approximately 70 million blogs worldwide, according to the Blog Herald.

Sort of a fact three: "Your loyal readers are the ones you service on a regular basis and if you can’t connect with them by giving them what they want, need, and rely upon, your post missed the connection." This, from the above mentioned Blog Herald.

I have no idea why anyone who is a regular reader of this blog comes back for more. I know that I get a lot of hits because of the few and far between tattoo entries, but those folks do not come back.

Conventional blog wisdom says this type of blog is doomed to failure, and I am beginning to understand why. Even I am getting tired of my rambling.

I also thought that I was doing some kind of service (ha! ha! ha!) by posting images of paintings that most people would never get to see otherwise, and providing links that could be followed with interest. But I know that noone clicks these links.

I also contended that being "interested in everything" was some kind of hedge against depression, but I sure haven't proved that one, have I?

So, as Freud might have asked, "What do blog readers want?" I ask periodically, but this time it's feeling more vital.

I'm starting to think that I could serve people best by posing questions, making suggestions (such as the time I said "go out and look at nature today"), and posting open-ended crafts project instructions.

In the format I presently have, you may land here and read a Palin-bashing rant (I couldn't hold it in any longer!) or you may read a perfume review. This is a super-specialized world - heck, there's a magazine for everything. I saw one today for people who made clothing for stuffed dolls.

This is a diary of sorts, open for all the world to see, but unless I want to push a cult of personality (and I doubt that's going to happen), how far can that go?

Please, help me out and give this all some thought (and get back to me, okay?)

Image note: From the Historic Iowa Children's Diaries Digital Collection. C'mon: click a link! It's good for you!

I suggest reading like this

No, you don't have to wait for a warm sunny day nor find a field with access to wi-fi to read this blog. You don't need to wear 19th century attire, either. Though, if you are sitting outside, I do suggest a hat, for you should protect your skin from the affects of UV light.

Never mind that bit of silliness.

This blog has longer than "normal" entries. Because of that, I suggest that you, the reader, treat them more like chapters in a book than blog entries (like this one). You don't have to read the entire thing in one sitting. Nor do you have to read them at all! It is a blog, after all. It's not a textbook, nor is it a novel, so there is no need to read in order (though there are some entries that play upon past ones. I try to link them, when I think of it.)

I also may be boring you. In this age of too much information (which is not a judgment from me, who loves it), publications, such as magazines, are becoming more specialized. I recommend going into a Borders some time and counting how many magazines there are for sale. I haven't done so. Borders doesn't even carry them all, not by a long shot. I just googled the question "How many magazines are published in the USA?" and the answer I received was "too many" (literally, hence the quotes, from Yahoo answers). Again, I'm too lazy to research this.

I just hopped over to Amazon and discovered that they have 479 magazines available for subscription on architecture alone!

So, as usual, I am off topic. The point is, while thus far my entries have been predominately about fragrance, as evidenced by the last one, you will never know what you will find here. It's more like the old "Life" magazine without the big, award-winning photography (and that magazine is out of business).

So, I'm using the most modern of formats for an anachronistic, generalist purpose.

I also want to remind my readers that I am not a revewer. When I write about perfume, or someone's book, (or whatever), it is only as a jumping off point for other ideas. Whether or not I am succeeding is another story. This blog is still in is infancy.

I give my opinions because I am aiming to give you an idea of what is going on inside of my mind. This is also why I choose not to edit (except for spelling). I want to expose the workings of my mind in all it's long winded and side tracking glory. Why? I don't know. It's something to do, as the old timers say here in Maine.

I am fascinated by the difference in the way we each see and experience the world and everything in it. So, I include my own thought processes in my interest. I do find it fascinating to see why certain ideas and experiences "hook" me, lead me into other explorations (or not). I find other peoples' fascinations (almost) equally fascinating. There: I was brutally honest and wrote the word "almost". Yes, I admit to my narcissism. In theory, I am most fascinated by what common factors lead things to be nearly universally captivating. For instance, why are certain facial types considered more beautiful than others or certain types of music more "sticky" (a loose term used by neuroscientists)? Great questions, but first I must examine what those things mean to me. This is a personal blog, not a piece of scientific research.

Skip that which you find unenjoyable. Leave a comment when you have a thought. If you have something quite long to say, send me an e-mail, which I may or may not post in its entirety.

Last note: There were so many typos in this blog entry (because I was falling asleep) that I've spent an hour correcting it. Now, I'm still tired. Does the sentence that makes no sense actually make sense? The sentence is now in red.You tell me (if you can).

Note: "Reading" c.1873 Artist: Berthe Morisot